没有“问题”的“问题学生”

（视觉中国/图）

如果还在公立学校，陈睿风的成绩或许仍然不错。但一堂高中物理课，改变了他的轨迹。在同老师探讨问题，被视作挑战权威后，他多次被老师当众羞辱和体罚。

他逐渐对学校和老师心生恐惧，直至最终休学。送到青少年生命复元学习社区后，陈睿风一度不许身边人喊自己的全名。这会让他想起学校的遭遇，出现心悸等躯体化症状。

包括陈睿风在内，学习社区接收了16名因各种原因休学的孩子。联合创始人邓豪发现，这两年前来咨询的家长，子女年龄越来越小，从初三前移至小学中高年级。

几乎所有受访的教育工作者，都旗帜鲜明地反对“问题学生”这一标签式的称呼。不过他们向南方周末记者坦言，如果按世俗的标准，最近几年观察到的“问题学生”数量确实越来越多。

2024年10月26日至27日，第三届青少年心理安全论坛在云南昆明宜良县举行，主题就是“问题学生和问题教育”。原本预计400人规模的论坛，涌进了1100名与会者。论坛主席、成都市武侯实验中学原校长李镇西，在致辞时开宗明义，“要改变问题学生，首先得改变问题教育。改变问题教育，必须改变问题教育的实施者，也就是问题教师和问题家长。”

吴丽明当了21年高中老师，又曾在浙江丽水缙云县做了12年教育局副局长，他也认同上述观点。在他看来，解决问题的根本在于“扭转应试教育的倾向”。但这也是最难的部分，需要教育行政部门、校长、老师、家长一起发力，在孩子的健康成长和应试教育间作出抉择。

谁是“问题学生”？

舒仁洪办过一所打工子弟学校。他遇到过一个学生，成绩过得去，但每天上学都迟到，还出手打同学，“调皮学生身上的问题，大多都有”。

家访后舒仁洪才知道，学生的家长闹离婚，晚上吵架很晚才能睡觉。学生暴躁是因为没想好父母离婚后是跟父亲，还是跟母亲。“我们当时就觉得这个学生的校内表现是有问题，但不是孩子的问题，而是家庭导致的”。

在他看来，所谓的问题学生，是在成长的某个阶段，出现了一些自己无法解决的问题，从而表现出被看作是问题的行为。比如，有些孩子在学校故意捣乱，是因为在家里没得到足够的关注，借此吸引注意力。尽管有的家庭问题，无法通过教育解决，但学校老师给予理解和帮助后，至少不会让孩子的问题更加凸显。

究竟怎样的学生才是问题学生？

北京教育科学研究院基础教育研究所退休教师王晓春有二十多年从教经历，后从事教育研究工作。他在2013年再版的《问题学生诊疗手册》一书中，将问题学生分为行为习惯型、厌学型、心理型、品德型和“好学生”型五类。

不过他在书中也强调，教育真正重要的方面是无法量化的，问题学生可能是一个“没有办法说得特别清楚的概念”。

在和同事交流学生的情况时，舒仁洪会避开“问题学生”这样的字眼。“有的问题学生是个性化的孩子，在某些方面更有亮点”，但舒仁洪说，在一线教学中学校容易把不太好管理、不听话的孩子都统称为问题学生。

吴丽明认为，对问题学生的定义至关重要。如果在应试教育的思想下，把思想、行为和习惯影响分数与升学的学生，都看成是问题学生，“问题就比较大”。原因在于这大大拓宽了问题学生的范围，进一步加剧了教育行政部门、老师和家长的焦虑。

如果将很多原本不成问题的问题，看成是问题，用强烈的控制方式对待孩子，反而陷入了恶性循环。

吴丽明举例说，小学低年级学生，注意力维持时间就是比一堂课的课时短，“上课做点小动作，分心看看窗外是正常的”。但不少老师认为，学生上课所有时间都必须专心致志，发现做一次小动作，就会批评一次。

“一个人不可能从来不生病，孩子成长也是同样的道理，在成长过程中难道不会有问题吗？”吴丽明打了个比方，孩子出现问题像是一场感冒，老师和家长应该尊重客观规律，在同情理解的基础上，给予针对性的帮助。感冒痊愈后有助于增强免疫力，“正是有问题的出现，孩子才会成长”。

值得注意的是，“好学生”也可能是问题学生，而且问题更为隐蔽。

舒仁洪的学校曾有一个女生，很乖巧，“不会惹什么麻烦，就是心思比较重”。到了初二初三，她的学业逐渐出现困难。高中才上了一学期，就退学了。事后她同舒仁洪说，“学习压得我喘不过气”。

舒仁洪熟悉她家的情况，她打小和外公外婆生活，“供她吃饱穿暖，就已经尽他们全力了”。走到退学这步，并不完全是学业本身的问题，而是面对问题“一直是她自己在扛，她感觉是孤立无援的，在心理上被打败了”。

2018年9月2日，杭州长江实验小学开学，一年级学生迎来小学第一堂课，教室外窗口门框边倚靠着很多围观家长。(视觉中国/图)

孩子是“病”得最轻的

2022年，舒仁洪办起了幼儿园。这时他发现，小学六年级和初中阶段冒出的“问题学生”，在更早时候就埋下了种子。

幼儿园有个孩子，在和别的小朋友说话前，总是伸手打对方的头。后来舒仁洪观察到，这位家长在招呼自己孩子的时候，也会顺手打一下孩子。在孩子看来，这可能只是一种打招呼的方式。

“很多孩子身上的小问题，是在家庭中习得的”。用舒仁洪的话说，刚开始只是小问题，但如果没有发现、纠正这个问题，到后面可能会发展为更严重的问题。

孩子在成长，如果父母成长的速度赶不上孩子，“就是拖孩子的后腿”。因此他常和家长说，“只有家长好好学习，孩子才能天天向上”。

在第三届青少年心理安全论坛上，北京四中原校长、北京金融街润泽学校校长刘长铭说，当发现一个孩子出现问题的时候，基本上可以断定这个孩子是家里病得最轻的，“跟家长一谈话你就明白了，真正严重的病人刚来”。

华东师范大学教育学部教授杨福义长期研究特殊儿童心理与教育。他在2007年发表的论文《问题学生的自我概念研究》中指出，通过对197名工读学校问题学生和136名普通中学学生的研究发现，父母的惩罚与严厉、父母的拒绝与否认以及父亲的过分干涉，与问题学生总体自我概念的发展存在极其显著的负相关。

他还注意到，问题学生的自我概念水平越低，焦虑和抑郁水平越高，表现出的心理健康问题和行为问题也越多。

类似的影响还出现在老师和学生的关系中。

邓豪举了个例子，学生对课程内容有不同于老师的思考，这本来是个很好的教学机会。但老师可能只让学生记下知识点，而不是展开讨论。学生心里会产生疑惑，“到底谁是对的？”

而当这份怀疑是关于“我是一个什么样的人”时，影响就更大了。他进一步解释，当学生被老师认为是调皮捣蛋的、偷懒的或者是问题学生时，面对强大的外部权力，学生对抗不了老师贴的标签，最终把标签贴到了自己身上。“休学的孩子经常觉得自己就是废物。”邓豪说。

吴丽明点出了背后的深层逻辑。在评价体系的指挥棒下，如果分数不高有某个学生的原因，“那么他就会变成众矢之的”。

他解释道，各级教育行政部门对学校的考核标准制定得非常详细，比如要求开齐开足课程，但这些要求在实际考核中并不一定真正落实到位。而学生成绩虽然不会列入考核内容，却是“教育行政部门评价学校，以及学校评价老师时最看重的”。以评先评优和职称评定为例，班级成绩好的老师往往有更高的优先级。

二十一世纪教育研究院温州附属小学校长林昱注意到，这两年问题学生数量越来越多，原因在于“整体的教育环境比较卷”。

“很难把小学完全从中国的教育体制中剥离出来。”林昱说，高考成绩是社会对教育质量的重要衡量标准，高考的压力会传递到中考，“高中的老师觉得初中的基础没打好怎么办？”而初中学校又希望小学抓好教育质量。这些压力传递到学校，又传递给基层的班级和学科老师，“有时候老师的教育教学行为，会莫名其妙发生改变”。

家长既感受到了压力，同时也是压力的制造者。

其中一个细节是，越来越多的家长碰见老师，第一句话是问“我孩子成绩怎么样？”而不是“孩子今天在学校开不开心？”在他看来，家长没有很平和地看待教育，也没有从生命健康成长的角度平和地看待自己孩子。

最终这些压力都落在了孩子身上。

邓豪会告诉休学的孩子，“你们是勇敢的人”。他引用社会学家项飙的话，教育系统正在批量生产炮灰。但不是所有学生都勇于说出内心的感受，勇于同父母和社会的不理解抗争。

他们把父母看作最后的希望，寻求理解和帮助，换来的通常又是不解和指责。在经历反复的拉扯，其他表达方式都被父母忽视后，有些孩子会用自伤自残的办法表明“我回不了那个学校”。这时部分家长才开始理解。但邓豪说，有的家长仍会觉得，“你来威胁我”。

不是管得太少，而是太多

摆在面前的是一道选择题。

“如果一定要争取成为头部学校，会耗费掉很多老师的精力，给孩子增加无谓的学业负担”，林昱认为这没有必要。他给学校的定位是，成绩保持在全区中上左右。在确保40分钟课堂教学有效性、批改好每本作业、辅导好后20%学生的基础上，抽出更多时间开展关注儿童生命成长的活动。

林昱说，作为学校的管理者，首先要做一个价值判断，“学校更关注的东西是什么？”如果目标不明确，由于社会、教育行政部门和家长都关注学习成绩，学校就很可能把学习成绩放到第一位，“很多活都不好干了”。

在二十一世纪教育研究院温州附属小学，运动会等大型活动都会征求学生意见。平日还开设了微舞台和微展台，学生报名后可以上台展示才艺，或者分享自己的故事。学生参与的管理社区甚至还讨论通过，忘戴红领巾应该有豁免机会。

林昱感受到了变化，学生们更自信，个性更鲜明，问题学生的数量也相对较少。附近一所对口中学的校长同他讲，这些学生到了初中，学习仍有足够的潜力。林昱开玩笑，“就像熬中药一样，我们还没把孩子榨干”。

刘长铭也注意到了这个现象。

“恨不得孩子3岁学数学，2岁学英语，通过抢跑来占先”。他在前述论坛上说，等到高中毕业，抢出的优势消耗殆尽，该怎么办呢？抢跑时本应发展的能力留下了缺口，与发展更全面的孩子相比，“不仅没有优势，反而处于劣势”。

不光是学校管理者，老师也能发挥重要作用。

吴丽明举了个例子，如果学生不会拼音，老师以牺牲和谐的师生关系、学生睡眠和体育活动时间为代价让学生掌握，这就得不偿失，反而促使孩子产生更多的问题。“是为了学生的健康发展，还是知识的得失，有的时候要作出抉择”。

老师是最基层的教学活动开展者，也处在所有利益相关方的交织点上。“家长遇到什么事都会找老师，校长也会找老师要成绩”，邓豪能理解老师的无奈。

他认为，如果老师没有一定的教学管理自由，对待问题学生往往会采取最容易和最安全的方式。比如发现学生不对劲，就转交给学校的心理老师。如果问题更严重，再让家长把孩子领回家。

因此，在他看来，家长是孩子的最后一道防线。“孩子是你自己的，如果你都看不见眼前这个具体的人，看到的全是外部传递的焦虑，我觉得挺遗憾的。”

以家校配合为例，他觉得家长并不是要配合学校的教育，而是要做学校没有做的事，“抓成绩学校做得足够好了，在家里应该抓孩子的心理健康和全面发展”。他举例说，可以带孩子多去户外跑一跑、跳一跳，周末踢一场足球，这不仅能让孩子得到锻炼，还能获得自由玩耍带来的掌控感。

吴丽明也持相近观点。

据他观察，不少家长缺乏教育常识，“不是管得太少，而是管得太多了”。在这种情况下，“家长做得越多，孩子越痛苦”。他举例，孩子有没有吃饱是由父母决定的。有的母亲对孩子说，“这口饭吃掉你才算吃饱。”吃了几口，孩子问，“妈妈，我吃饱了没有？”

这是一种典型的控制，也是家庭教育普遍存在的问题。吴丽明说，孩子失去了自主意识，把自己的感觉都交给妈妈了，“这样的孩子往往会出现问题”。

舒仁洪干了近20年教育，接触了各种各样的学生。他经常与家长说，“有的花春天开，有的花夏天开，有的花冬天开。无花果虽然看不见花，但也能结果。”

这并不是一件容易的事。

邓豪发现，在学习社区待上一段时间，孩子的状态一旦好转，有些家长对孩子学业的期待又会爆发出来，要求孩子重新回到学校，认为那才是正常的轨道。

“家长并没有放下期待，这份期待只是被藏起来了。”邓豪说。

邓豪请家长写下对子女25岁时的期待。家长的期待和孩子对自己的期待高度一致，独立、健康、勇敢、快乐都是高频词。“高考只是前往这些目标的路径之一，不要让家长活在当下的焦虑里”。

A 'problem student' without any 'problems'

picture

(Visual China/Image)

If he were still in a public school, Chen Ruifeng's grades may still be good.

 But a high school physics class changed his trajectory.

 After discussing issues with the teacher and being seen as challenging authority, he was repeatedly publicly humiliated and physically punished by the teacher.

He gradually developed fear towards the school and teachers, until he eventually took a leave of absence.

 After being sent to the Youth Life Recovery Learning Community, Chen Ruifeng once forbade people around him from calling his full name.

 This will remind him of his experience at school, where he may experience physical symptoms such as palpitations.

Including Chen Ruifeng, the learning community has received 16 children who have taken leave of absence for various reasons.

 Co founder Deng Hao found that parents who came to consult in the past two years have seen their children getting younger and moving from the third year of junior high school to the middle and upper grades of primary school.

Almost all interviewed educators strongly oppose the label of 'problematic students'.

 However, they admitted to Southern Weekend reporters that by secular standards, the number of "problematic students" observed in recent years has indeed been increasing.

On October 26-27, 2024, the 3rd Youth Psychological Safety Forum was held in Yiliang County, Kunming, Yunnan Province, with the theme of "Problem Students and Problem Education".

 The forum, originally expected to have a size of 400 people, attracted 1100 attendees.

 In his speech, Li Zhenxi, the chairman of the forum and former principal of Wuhou Experimental Middle School in Chengdu, made it clear that "to change problem students, we must first change problem education. To change problem education, we must change the implementers of problem education, namely problem teachers and problem parents

Wu Liming has been a high school teacher for 21 years and served as the deputy director of the Education Bureau in Jinyun County, Lishui, Zhejiang for 12 years. He also agrees with the above viewpoint.

 In his view, the fundamental solution to the problem lies in "reversing the trend of exam oriented education".

 But this is also the most difficult part, which requires education administrative departments, principals, teachers, and parents to work together to make a choice between children's healthy growth and exam oriented education.

Who are the 'problematic students'?

Shu Renhong once ran a school for children of migrant workers.

 He once encountered a student who had decent grades, but was late for school every day and even physically attacked his classmates, saying, 'Most mischievous students have their own problems.'.

After the home visit, Shu Renhong learned that the parents of the student were divorcing and had to argue late at night before going to bed.

 Students are irritable because they haven't figured out whether to divorce their parents with their father or with their mother.

 We felt at the time that there was a problem with the student's performance on campus, but it was not the child's fault, but rather the family's fault.

In his view, the so-called problem students are those who, at a certain stage of their growth, encounter problems that they cannot solve on their own and exhibit behavior that is seen as a problem.

 For example, some children intentionally cause trouble at school because they haven't received enough attention at home, in order to attract attention.

 Although some family problems cannot be solved through education, the understanding and assistance provided by school teachers will at least not make the child's problem more prominent.

What kind of students are problem students?

Retired teacher Wang Xiaochun from the basic Education Research Institute of Beijing Academy of Educational Sciences has over 20 years of teaching experience and later engaged in educational research work.

 In his reissued book "Diagnosis and Treatment Manual for Problematic Students" in 2013, he classified problematic students into five categories: habitual behavior, disinterest in learning, psychological, moral, and "good students".

However, he also emphasized in the book that the truly important aspects of education cannot be quantified, and problem students may be a concept that cannot be particularly clearly expressed.

When communicating with colleagues about students, Shu Renhong avoids using words like 'problematic students'.

 Some problematic students are personalized and have highlights in certain aspects, "but Shu Renhong said that in frontline teaching, schools tend to collectively refer to children who are difficult to manage and disobedient as problematic students.

Wu Liming believes that defining problematic students is crucial.

 If under the ideology of exam oriented education, students whose thoughts, behaviors, and habits affect their scores and further education are regarded as problem students, the problem will be relatively large.

 The reason is that this greatly expands the scope of problematic students, further exacerbating the anxiety of education administrative departments, teachers, and parents.

If many problems that were not originally a problem are treated as problems and treated with strong control, they will instead fall into a vicious cycle.

Wu Liming gave an example that for elementary school students in lower grades, their attention span is shorter than the duration of a class. "It's normal to do some small movements during class and get distracted by looking out the window.

 But many teachers believe that students must concentrate all the time in class, and if they make a small gesture, they will criticize it once.

A person cannot never get sick, and the same principle applies to a child's growth. Isn't there any problem during the growth process? "Wu Liming gave an analogy. If a child has a problem, it's like catching a cold. Teachers and parents should respect objective laws and provide targeted help based on sympathy and understanding.

 After recovering from a cold, it helps to enhance the immune system. It is precisely when problems arise that children grow up.

It is worth noting that 'good students' may also be problem students, and the problems are more hidden.

There was once a girl in Shu Renhong's school who was very obedient and "wouldn't cause any trouble, just had a heavy mind".

 By the second and third year of junior high school, she gradually encountered difficulties in her studies.

 I dropped out of high school after only one semester.

 Afterwards, she said to Shu Renhong, 'The pressure of studying makes it hard for me to catch my breath.'.

Shu Renhong is familiar with her family's situation. Since childhood, she has lived with her grandparents and provided her with food, clothing, and warmth, which is already their best effort.

 Coming to the point of dropping out of school is not entirely a problem with her academic performance, but rather facing the challenge that she has been shouldering on her own. She feels isolated and helpless, psychologically defeated.

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On September 2, 2018, Hangzhou Changjiang Experimental Primary School opened, and first grade students welcomed their first class. Outside the classroom, there were many onlookers leaning against the window frames.

 (Visual China/Image)

Children are the least ill

In 2022, Shu Renhong started a kindergarten.

 At this point, he discovered that the "problematic students" who emerged in sixth grade and middle school had planted seeds earlier.

There is a child in kindergarten who always reaches out to hit other children on the head before talking to them.

 Later, Shu Renhong observed that this parent would also casually hit their child when greeting them.

 In the eyes of children, this may just be a way of greeting.

Many children's small problems are learned in their families.

 In the words of Shu Renhong, at the beginning, it is just a small problem, but if this problem is not discovered and corrected, it may develop into a more serious problem in the future.

Children are growing up, and if parents can't keep up with their children's growth rate, it's like holding them back.

 Therefore, he often tells parents, 'Only when parents study hard can children make progress every day.'.

At the 3rd Youth Psychological Safety Forum, Liu Changming, former principal of Beijing No.4 Middle School and principal of Beijing financial Street Runze School, said that when a child is found to have problems, it can be basically concluded that the child is the least ill in the family. "You will understand as soon as you talk to the parents that the truly serious patient has just arrived.

Professor Yang Fuyi from the department of Education at East China Normal University has been conducting long-term research on the psychology and education of special needs children.

 In his 2007 paper "Research on the Self Concept of Problematic Students," he pointed out that through a study of 197 problematic students in work study schools and 136 students in regular high schools, it was found that parental punishment and strictness, parental rejection and denial, and excessive interference from fathers were significantly negatively correlated with the overall development of problem students' self-concept.

He also noticed that the lower the self-concept level of problem students, the higher their anxiety and depression levels, and the more psychological and behavioral problems they exhibit.

Similar effects also occur in the relationship between teachers and students.

Deng Hao gave an example that students have different ways of thinking about course content than teachers, which could have been a great teaching opportunity.

 But teachers may only ask students to jot down knowledge points instead of engaging in discussions.

 Students may wonder, 'Who is right?'

And when this doubt is about 'what kind of person am I', the impact is even greater.

 He further explained that when students are perceived by teachers as mischievous, lazy, or problematic, they cannot resist the labels imposed by teachers in the face of strong external power, and ultimately stick the labels to themselves.

 Children who take a leave of absence often feel like they are useless, "Deng Hao said.

Wu Liming pointed out the underlying logic behind it.

 Under the baton of the evaluation system, if a student's score is not high due to certain reasons, they will become the target of public criticism.

He explained that the education administrative departments at all levels have formulated very detailed assessment standards for schools, such as requiring full and sufficient courses to be offered, but these requirements may not be truly implemented in actual assessments.

 Although student performance is not included in the assessment, it is the most important factor for educational administrative departments to evaluate schools and schools to evaluate teachers.

 For example, in the evaluation of excellence and professional titles, teachers with good grades in the class often have higher priority.

Lin Yu, the principal of Wenzhou Affiliated Primary School of the 21st Century Education Research Institute, noticed that the number of problematic students has been increasing in recent years due to the "overall education environment being relatively stagnant".

It's difficult to completely separate primary schools from China's education system, "said Lin Yu." College entrance examination scores are an important measure of education quality in society, and the pressure of the exam will be transmitted to the middle school entrance examination. "What if high school teachers feel that the foundation of junior high school is not well laid?" And junior high schools hope that primary schools can improve the quality of education.

 These pressures are transmitted to schools, as well as to grassroots classes and subject teachers, and sometimes teachers' educational and teaching behaviors can inexplicably change.

Parents not only feel the pressure, but also become the creators of it.

One of the details is that more and more parents are encountering teachers and their first words are "How is my child's grades?" instead of "Is my child happy at school today?" In his opinion, parents do not view education very calmly, nor do they view their children from the perspective of healthy growth and development.

In the end, all these pressures fell on the children.

Deng Hao will tell the children who take a leave of absence, 'You are brave people.'.

 He quoted sociologist Xiang Biao as saying that the education system is mass producing cannon fodder.

 But not all students are brave enough to express their inner feelings and fight against their parents' and society's lack of understanding.

They see their parents as their last hope, seeking understanding and help, often only to receive confusion and blame.

 After experiencing repeated pulling and other forms of expression being ignored by parents, some children may resort to self harm to express themselves as' I can't go back to that school '.

 At this point, some parents began to understand.

 But Deng Hao said that some parents still feel like 'you're threatening me'.

Not too little, but too much

What is in front of us is a multiple-choice question.

If we must strive to become a top school, it will consume a lot of teachers' energy and add unnecessary academic burden to children, "Lin Yu believes that this is unnecessary.

 His positioning for the school is to maintain grades at around the middle to high level in the entire district.

 On the basis of ensuring the effectiveness of 40 minute classroom teaching, correcting each assignment, and tutoring the remaining 20% of students, allocate more time to carry out activities that focus on children's life growth.

Lin Yu said that as a school manager, the first thing to do is to make a value judgment. "What is the school more concerned about?" If the goals are not clear, due to the attention of society, education administrative departments, and parents to academic performance, the school is likely to put academic performance first, and "many tasks are difficult to do.

At Wenzhou Affiliated Primary School of the 21st Century Education Research Institute, student opinions are solicited for major events such as sports games.

 On weekdays, there are also micro stages and micro booths where students can showcase their talents or share their stories after registering.

 The management community involving students even discussed and approved that forgetting to wear a red scarf should have an exemption opportunity.

Lin Yu felt the change, with students becoming more confident, having more distinct personalities, and relatively fewer problematic students.

 The principal of a nearby affiliated middle school told him that these students still have enough potential for learning in junior high school.

 Lin Yu joked, 'It's like boiling traditional Chinese medicine, we haven't squeezed the child dry yet.'.

Liu Changming also noticed this phenomenon.

I wish my child could learn math at the age of 3 and English at the age of 2, and take the lead by rushing to run.

 He said on the aforementioned forum, 'What should we do when we finish high school and all the advantages we have gained are exhausted?'?

 The ability that should have been developed during the rush has left a gap, and compared with children who have more comprehensive development, they not only have no advantage, but are also at a disadvantage.

Not only school administrators, but also teachers can play an important role.

Wu Liming gave an example that if students do not know pinyin, teachers sacrifice harmonious teacher-student relationships, students' sleep, and physical activity time for students to master it. This is not worth the loss, but instead promotes more problems in children.

 Sometimes we have to make a choice between the healthy development of students and the gains and losses of knowledge.

Teachers are the most grassroots organizers of teaching activities and are also at the intersection of all stakeholders.

 Parents always turn to teachers for help when they encounter anything, and principals also ask teachers for grades, "Deng Hao can understand the helplessness of teachers.

He believes that if teachers do not have certain teaching management freedom, they will often adopt the easiest and safest way to deal with problematic students.

 For example, if you find something wrong with a student, you can hand it over to the school's psychological teacher.

 If the problem is more serious, ask the parents to take the child home.

Therefore, in his view, parents are the last line of defense for children.

 The child is your own, and if you can't see the specific person in front of you, and all you see is external anxiety, I think it's quite regrettable

Taking home school cooperation as an example, he believes that parents should not cooperate with the school's education, but rather do what the school has not done. "The school has done well enough in terms of academic performance, and at home, they should focus on their children's mental health and comprehensive development.

 He gave an example that children can take them outdoors to run, jump, and play soccer on weekends. This not only allows children to exercise, but also provides a sense of control through free play.

Wu Liming also holds a similar view.

According to his observation, many parents lack educational knowledge, "not because they manage too little, but because they manage too much.

 In this situation, the more parents do, the more painful the child becomes.

 He gave an example that whether a child has enough to eat is decided by their parents.

 Some mothers say to their children, "Only by eating this meal can you be considered full." After taking a few bites, the child asks, "Mom, have I eaten enough

This is a typical control and a common problem in family education.

 Wu Liming said that children who lose their sense of autonomy and entrust their feelings to their mothers often have problems.

Shu Renhong has been engaged in education for nearly 20 years and has come into contact with various students.

 He often tells his parents, "Some flowers bloom in spring, some flowers bloom in summer, and some flowers bloom in winter. Although figs cannot see the flowers, they can still bear fruit

This is not an easy task.

Deng Hao found that after staying in the learning community for a period of time, once a child's condition improves, some parents' expectations for their child's academic performance will erupt again, demanding that the child return to school, believing that that is the normal track.

Parents haven't let go of their expectations, these expectations are just hidden, "Deng Hao said.

Deng Hao asked parents to write down their expectations for their children at the age of 25.

 Parents' expectations and children's expectations of themselves are highly consistent, with high frequency words such as independence, health, courage, and happiness.

 The college entrance examination is just one of the paths to these goals, don't let parents live in current anxiety.

1. Co founder Deng Hao found that parents who came to consult in the past two years have seen their children getting younger and moving from the third year of junior high school to the middle and upper grades of primary school.

句子成分分析：

Co founder Deng Hao found | that parents (who came to consult [in the past two years]) have seen their children getting younger and moving [from the third year (of junior high school)] [to the middle and upper grades (of primary school)].

句子语法结构详解：

(found 为 find 的过去式。came 为 come 的过去式。seen 为 see 的过去分词。children 为 child 的复数形式。younger 为 young 的比较级形式)

* found 为谓语，采用一般过去时。
* that 为连词，引导宾语从句。
* who 为关系代词，引导定语从句。
* came 为谓语，采用一般过去时。
* to consult 为不定式，作状语。
* seen 为谓语，采用现在完成时。
* getting 为现在分词，作宾语补足语(即构成复合宾语)。
* getting 为系动词。
* young 为形容词作表语。
* their 为形容词型物主代词。have 为助动词。the 为定冠词。

句子相关词汇解释：

Phrase:

Vocabulary:

句子相关学习点：

 try to do sth 和 try doing sth 的区别
 in 和 after 后接时间的区别
 arrive, reach 和 get 的区别

2.But this is also the most difficult part, which requires education administrative departments, principals, teachers, and parents to work together to make a choice between children's healthy growth and exam oriented education.

句子成分分析：

But this is [also] the most difficult part,
which requires education (administrative)
departments, principals, teachers, and parents to work [together] to make a choice [between children's healthy growth] || and exam oriented education.

句子语法结构详解：

(children 为 child 的复数形式。)

* is 为系动词作谓语，采用一般现在时。
* which 为疑问代词，引导特殊疑问句。
* requires 为谓语，采用一般现在时。动词采用第三人称单数形式。
* administrative 为形容词作后置定语
* to work 为不定式，作后置定语。
* make 为谓语，采用一般现在时。
* 第2个 and 为并列连词，连接并列句。
* oriented 为谓语，采用一般过去时。
* this 为指示代词。children's 为名词所有格。the 为定冠词。a 为不定冠词。

句子相关词汇解释：

Phrase:

Vocabulary:

句子相关学习点：

 work, job 和 task 的区别
 between 和 among 的区别

3.At the 3rd Youth Psychological Safety Forum, Liu Changming, former principal of Beijing No.4 Middle School and principal of Beijing Financial Street Runze School, said that when a child is found to have problems, it can be basically concluded that the child is the least ill in the family.

句子成分分析：

[At the 3rd Youth Psychological Safety Forum], Liu Changming, former principal (of Beijing No.4 Middle School) and principal (of Beijing Financial Street Runze School), said | that when a child is found to have problems, || it can be [basically] concluded | that the child is the least ill [in the family].

句子语法结构详解：

(said 为 say 的过去式。found 为 find 的过去分词。)

* said 为谓语，采用一般过去时。
* 第1个 that 为连词，引导宾语从句。
* when 为连词，引导时间状语从句。
* 第1个 is 为助动词。
* found 为谓语，采用一般现在时和被动语态。
* to have 为不定式，作状语。
* it 为先行主语，代表后移的主语从句。
* concluded 为谓语，采用被动语态。
* 第2个 that 引导主语从句。
* 第2个 is 为系动词作谓语，采用一般现在时。
* can 为情态动词。be 为助动词。the 为定冠词。a 为不定冠词。

句子相关词汇解释：

Vocabulary:

句子相关学习点：

 as, when, while 的区别
 can 与 be able to 的区别

4.Deng Hao found that after staying in the learning community for a period of time, once a child's condition improves, some parents' expectations for their child's academic performance will erupt again, demanding that the child return to school, believing that that is the normal track.

句子成分分析：

Deng Hao found | that [after staying in the learning community [for a period (of time)]], once a child's condition improves, || some parents' expectations (for their child's academic performance) will erupt [again], demanding | that the child return to school, believing | that that is the normal track.

句子语法结构详解：

(found 为 find 的过去式。)

* found 为谓语，采用一般过去时。
* 第1个 that 为连词，引导宾语从句。
* staying 为动名词，作介词宾语。
* once 引导状语从句。
* improves 为谓语，采用一般现在时。动词采用第三人称单数形式。
* some 开头为陈述句。
* erupt 为谓语，采用一般将来时。
* demanding 为现在分词，作状语。
* 第2个 that 为连词，引导宾语从句。
* return 为谓语，采用虚拟语气。
* believing 为现在分词，作状语。
* 第3个 that 为连词，引导宾语从句。
* 第4个 that 为指示代词。
* is 为系动词作谓语，采用一般现在时。
* will 为情态动词。their 为形容词型物主代词。child's, parents' 为名词所有格。the 为定冠词。a 为不定冠词。

句子相关词汇解释：

Phrase:

Vocabulary: